Summer
by goldenshadows
Summary: What if Spike had been given a soul earlier? This is set directly after Graduation Day. Buffy's missing Angel, Spike can't get the slayer out of his mind and why are the watcher's council in town? BuffySpike Complete
1. Default Chapter

**__**

Summer

Chapter One

It was that time of evening, just before sunset, where the air is still muggy but there's the relief of evening breeze, and the smell of barbeques and cut grass and the sea salt from the ocean makes you tired and you feel like you're a kid again.

The sounds of children protesting loudly as protective mother's gather them inside reached Buffy and she smiled slightly. She sat on the doorstep looking out at her backyard. Willow and Oz shared a blanket on the grass, arms wrapped round each other. Xander stood over the barbeque with her mother and Giles, trying to put out the flames.

She looked at them all longingly. She herself had requested this, something normal she could look forward to - a rarity these days. Her mother and Giles had both agreed that it would do her good to miss out on the nightly patrols as the forces of evil had been somewhat subdued. Since the chaos that had been her graduation day a calm had settled over Sunnydale.

Usually, Buffy would remind herself that evil was just in hiding, biding it's time, and that she should be more careful then ever. She sighed and took another sip of her drink. The truth was, at the moment she was just too hot to care - and she had other things on her mind.

Tears watered her eyes yet again as she thought of Angel, walking away after fighting the good fight, through the smoke without saying a word.

She looked back at her friends. The picture perfect scene stirring emotions within her best left unspoken. Jealousy was one word that came to mind. Unwanted amongst supposed best friends and family - but it was there. They had normal lives. If they wanted to they could walk away after the lazy summer days had ended and never look back. They could put the events of high school down to overactive imaginations as so many others seemed to have done. They could hardly understand how she felt, what she went through. Every day she lived could be her last. She had never let on how much that scared her. How could she? She was supposed to be the strong one who always came through and saved the day. Those were just some of the issues that were separating her from her friends right now.

She sighed. Loosing Angel and so many other of her friends during the fight with the mayor had made her realise these things had always been there testing her friendships since the beginning. But she couldn't let it get to her. Not now. They had just won the greatest victory of their lives. Just because she was depressed didn't mean she could take it out on her friends. Which was why she was suffering in silence, unable to bring herself to be a burden on the world. Although they must be able to see her pain, they only saw from a distance. She knew they were giving her space. But on the other hand, on her worst days, she wanted nothing more then the nights in watching an old film with her mother and eating lots of popcorn. She wanted Xander's jokes and sometimes annoying look on the bright side attitude. Willow's best friend advice and Oz's silent support. But when they offered that to her, it all became to much and she shut herself off. She was a mess, her thoughts all over the place. Maybe not thinking would be a start for her being happy again!

With a shake of her head she stood up. At first no one noticed. Her mum and Giles were in animated conversation - Xander pretending to be interested. Willow and Oz were being more then a little friendly. She considered slipping away - but that would be rude right? After all, this day had been planned for her.

The knock at the front door made her smile shakily in relief as it saved her from an embarrassing speech and all the pity that would follow.

"I'll get it," she said out loud and turned away before anyone could answer. As she walked through the house a sixth sense suddenly overtook her. She shivered - an unusual act in a heat wave. Her fake smile that she saved for sales people/kids/old ladies/ and perfect strangers faded.

"Hello Miss Summers," smiled Quentin Travers. "May I come in? We have….some urgent business to discuss". He said this as he stepped across the threshold of her home uninvited and without waiting for a reply.

"It's at times like these I wish that vampire rule about not entering a person's home applied to humans," she said bitterly. "I knew it would be bad news as soon as I opened the door," she continued. "But there's bad news and then there's…well….worse bad news. What are you doing here?"

**__**


	2. Chapter 2

**__**

Chapter Two

He looked up at the sky . It was littered with stars. The sea calmed him - but only slightly. He raised his cigarette to his lips and inhaled slowly.

Looking out at the vastness around him, he realised for the first time just how much he didn't matter. Not in the big picture of things. He had always prided himself on being the best. He was tired of living in the shadows of others and he thought he had proven that with a well known reputation of his own.

But in the end - no matter how many people he maimed and slaughtered - it wouldn't add up. He would never be good enough. It wasn't like he was a master. He wasn't the first evil. He should have known that nothing less then that would even have a shot of getting her back. Getting her to even notice him again. Even after a whole year, he still heard her words in his mind. "Spike, when I look at you, all I see is the slayer!"

Oh Dru, he thought in despair, loneliness once more overwhelming him. I did it all for you you know. Teaming up with the slayer, turning against Angelus. It was only to get you back. It was only to save you. You were so bloody infatuated with him you couldn't see what was right in front of you. You think all I see is the slayer? Well he was even worse! He was just using you. He lit another fag and longed for some alcohol. He thought he had been a damned fine actor. Double betrayal. In fact it had been pure genius getting Buffy to trust him and then….well the rest was history. Dru - anyone - should have been impressed.

But no…she had left him anyway. And why? He had spent hours, days analysing those last words. They still made no sense to him. Of course all he thought of was the slayer - because he had wanted to kill her. She had always been in his way, spoiling all his plans - all his fun.

So what if he had been a bit possessed by the idea? He was supposed to be evil. And now, here he was, once more a shadow of his former self, forgotten by the world. He had spent a century building himself up as the big bad, and now all that was lost.

The way Dru had looked at him when she spoke of the slayer, she had seemed hurt. No - it was almost like she had been jealous! He didn't get it!

**__**

Sunnydale

Oh it was awkward.

Buffy grimaced slightly as she bought out the tea and biscuits her mother had insisted on making. "You know who this man is right mum?" she had hissed angrily in the kitchen. "He put me through that insane test on my birthday? Almost got me killed? He fired Giles for no reason? Ringing any bells?"

"We never have guests Buffy," her mother had interrupted. "Be a good girl. Even if he did do all those things, I hope you're all going to be reasonable about this. There will be no raised voices or fist fights understand? I can't keep replacing the windows of this place - or keep explaining to the neighbours why it sounds like world war three is starting in here all the time!"

Screw that, thought Buffy and she practically threw the tea on the table. "Lets skip the formalities and get to the point. I guess there is a point, right? May I remind you that I walked out on the council, remember? You're not…"

"Welcome here. I know. If you'd sit down I'll explain myself," he gestured to a nearby chair. "I'll stand thanks," she snapped.

Quentin Travers sighed and helped himself to a biscuit. "I am angry," he started. "Excuse me?" asked Giles in surprise.

"I'm angry at all of you," the watcher continued. "You have all been so incredibly foolish. You have no idea of the damage you have caused!"

That received blank stairs from everyone. "What are you talking about?" asked Xander.

Quentin narrowed his eyes. "you'll find out soon enough. Lets call it another test…"

"No way!" spat Buffy. "I am not going through another of your tests. You have no right anymore to put me through that again!"

"You see my dear," he continued. "You really have no choice in the matter. It is something that is out of my hands. But it is something the council knew might happen one day if the slayer was careless, and so we have started the actions that are required".

"I would have thought you'd be grateful for what we did to the mayor," said Buffy.

"Indeed we are forever in your debt. Had things gone on the way they were with the mayor and faith…..but that's besides the point. The point is you're plan to defeat him was both reckless and well... it was stupid".

There was a silence. Buffy looked away.

"Turn on the TV if you would....Joyce is it?" he said calmly.

Joyce hesitated. "Now look," started Giles. "You can't just go ordering us about any…." his voice trailed off as he saw the latest news story.

"This just in," said the reporter. "Is this a practical joke? Is it special effects? Or could it really be footage of the end of the world? Could this be what actually happened at Sunnydale high school on the class of 99's graduation day?"

They all stared in shock as the scenes from graduation day played out before them. The mayor turning into the demon. The students armed with weapons. The whole battle played out on screen for millions to see.

"Oh my god," whispered Willow in shock.

"How….why….how…." sputtered Xander.

"That's what you went through?" said Joyce, staring at her daughter in shock and amazement. "You never told me that's what actually happened…."

Quentin leaned over and turned off the TV. "So now you know what you're up against," he finished, a slight smile on his face. "I'll be leaving now".

"Wait," fumed Buffy, turning to face him. "You can't just dump this on us and then disappear. The whole world knows now, don't they?"

He nodded. "Yes I'm afraid they do. And they know about you. There was enough footage on that video to confirm you were the leader of the…attack."

"So, what steps have you taken to prevent this from getting any worse?" asked Oz, startling them all. The leader of the watcher's council looked at them grimly. " There is someone who can help you."

………………………………............................................................................................................................

Spike turned away from the ocean, new determination in his eyes. Maybe he should go back to Sunnydale. Maybe killing the slayer would get him everything he wanted. Or maybe it was a suicide mission . At this point he didn't care.

Suddenly he felt pain shooting all through him. He saw a bright light all around him, and then he remembered nothing more.


	3. chapter 3

Authors Note - I forgot about this part!! None of the characters belong to me etc etc. Ok, this story was kind of inspired by an old episode of charmed i was watching the other day - but only a little bit!! If you don't watch it it doesn't matter, but it was the episode where the sisters powers are caught live on TV. But i always wondered how the scooby gang would react to something like that anyway. Thanks for the reviews, hope you enjoy!

**_Chapter Three_**

When Spike opened his eyes, he found that he couldn't move. Screams echoed all around him, making his head hurt even more.

He tried to stand up but he was chained to something. He felt movement. Whoever held him captive was taking him somewhere, of that he was certain. It was the only thing he was certain of.

"What have you done to me?" he yelled out to the darkness. Images filled his mind then. Thousands of pictures all at once. People being killed or tortured, then he knew that these were things he had done.

"Help me," he murmured as the images continued to play out. He hated the way he sounded. Helpless, pathetic. A part of him was standing back and watching. A part of him understood everything that was happening and was laughing. It was the part he couldn't reach - and yet it had been him moments earlier. He had been planning a murder…….this thought shocked him to the core of his being. He was a good man. How could this have happened to him? Why couldn't he remember who he had been planning to kill? He should know, it seemed crystal clear to him and yet….

Then the pain was once more to much and he passed out.

**__**

Sunnydale

"So, spill already. Who's going to help us?" said Buffy, her mind still reeling from the fact that very soon the whole world would know about the supernatural. They may not know she was the slayer - but they knew about her. It wouldn't be long before they found everything else out too.

"He should be here by tomorrow night," Quentin answered her calmly. "And you know him well enough to recognise him from your past encounters with him. It will be a shock for you, but you'll have to work together I'm afraid"

"Wait - that's all your going to tell us?" gasped Willow. "That's insane," added Xander. "We know lot's of people that we hate. It could be anyone!"

"May I remind you this is supposed to be a punishment for you?" he told them. "Although it is catastrophic that our world has been exposed - it is your mess. This is how things were planned though. It is a test. And although you are no longer a part of the council - if you want to continue your work of fighting for good, you'd do well to obey the rules!" He looked at them all in turn. "Of course I'm not a complete monster as you would believe. I shall give you a riddle to help you on your way. It's a pretty big clue at that. Even you, buffy, will be able to get this one!"

The slayer raised her eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

" The being that you seek

Once was strong and now is weak

It has hair almost as white as snow

And its eyes now glow with a soul"

He paused for a second, allowing them to absorb what he had just said. "I thought it was pretty straight forward myself," he said finally. "Oh well," with that, Quentin turned to walk out of the front door. "It's funny how life turns out," were his last words.

"He couldn't be talking about who I think his talking about…could he?" whispered Willow.


	4. chapter 4

**__**

Chapter Four

"No," said Buffy. "Don't even think about it Will!"

"But…But Travers said that's what we're looking for. Someone with a soul. White hair….It's the only thing that makes sense!" said her best friend. "Spike," added Oz flatly and that one word seemed to confirm everything.

Buffy looked defeated. "But it can't be," she whispered. "I can't deal with this as well as everything else. How can Spike….how can he help us?" No one could answer because no one could believe that this day had arrived. Could William The Bloody have a soul?

"The council have indeed gone mad," muttered Giles. "Not to be the dumb one here, but - isn't this a good thing?" asked Joyce, who was confused. "I mean - he'll be like Angel…."

"No," snapped Buffy. "Never. He'll never be like Angel. His a monster. This soul…it could be a trick. A spell or something. And I don't generally trust anything unless I see it myself," she added stubbornly.

"No offence Buffy - but Angel was a monster too. Some of the time," pointed out Willow. "But it's different with him. He had time to atone for his - evil. To make amends. If this is true then how do we know it's for real? How can he help us? Who says he'd even want to? After all his done, how can we trust him?"

Xander raised his hand hesitantly. "Same could be said for Angel…"

"Xander, drop it ok? Angel's the good guy. He's proven that by saving our lives a thousand times when he didn't have to. Angel has a destiny to carry out. Spike has yet to prove anything to us so as far as I'm concerned his still very much a bad guy who we're supposed to hate and shouldn't be working with!" She paused and turned to look at Giles. "How is this even possible? How could the council just make this happen?"

Giles shook his head. "I thought that we were the only ones with the spell. I've never given it to the council - I don't know why. I guess I thought even then that they couldn't be trusted. Deep down".

"You know the council. They never keep their word on anything," confirmed oz. "What I want to know is how that video got on the news!" said Xander. Buffy shook her head. "I have no idea. Maybe one of the parents took a video. I'm so stupid I should have thought of that earlier".

"You can't blame yourself sweetheart," said her mother gently. "No matter what that man said".

"Well, I guess my trip around America is off…" said Xander, but he was interrupted by another knock on the door.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

She was beautiful, like an angel with hair made of gold. He couldn't stop watching her. She was dancing with her friends. Why couldn't he remember who she was? He knew she was an important part of his life - that she would always be a part of him. He knew he should hate her…just like he new that it wasn't hate he felt now. What was wrong with him?

He caught her eye from across the dance floor and she smiled. Then to his amazement she started to walk over to him. They started to dance slowly, then she suddenly seemed to freeze in his arms. "Spike?" she whispered. "What's going on?"

"This is wrong," he answered her softly. "I know it's wrong". He reached forwards to brush her hair away from her eyes. "Why am I feeling this way? I should hate you".

"But you don't?" she continued to smile. He shook his head. " No. have I always felt this way?" She didn't answer him. She looked confused and a little scared. He had tightened his grip on her. "Spike you're hurting me," she protested. "I'm supposed to. It's what I'm made for…"

Everything around them seemed blurred. Suddenly - for just an second he was somewhere else. In a cemetery, watching her fight. He was in awe of her. She was strong and brave and seemed not to even falter. But she was fighting him! Then he was back on the dance floor of the Bronze, but he was no longer holding her. She lay on the ground, eyes open. But she wasn't seeing anything. "No…" he murmured, backing away slowly. "No, no, no. Help me please. I didn't mean…."

Spike suddenly woke up from the dream. He knew that's what it had been now, but it had seemed so real. He remembered her name now. Buffy. But it still seemed foreign to him. He needed to find out more. He knew he should be thinking up a way out of wherever he was held prisoner. But all he could think about was Buffy. He needed to know everything. The history they had shared. Why he had been planning her murder. Why he suddenly seemed to think that if he was by her side he would always be safe. Why a part of him felt sick at that thought. Maybe all this was the key to finding out what had happened to him as well.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

When Buffy opened the door, she was shocked by a bright flash of light. She raised her hand to shield her eyes - but when her vision cleared, she saw something she never thought she'd ever see. Cameras. Lots and lots of cameras. Video cameras, normal cameras. Damn it. How did the press find out where I lived so fast? She thought angrily.

Reporters were calling her name over and over. And her friends names. "Miss Summers - can you tell us what really happened?"

"Miss Summers - is it true? Do you have special powers?"

She slammed the door instantly. She looked up to see her friends had gathered by the front door. "What's going on?" asked Xander curiously. "Who's out there Buffy?" continued her mother.

Her back to the door, leaning against it, Buffy sighed. "I don't think we're going anywhere for a while!"

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**__**

Chapter Five

Spike sat in the shadows, shaking, although it wasn't cold. He was also one of the undead - which meant that temperature shouldn't worry him. But the last thing that was clear to him, was the fact that he should have a heartbeat.

He had two sets of memories inside of him - and the one of his life as a vampire was slowly starting to fade. It now seemed an impossibility, like a dream.

Suddenly, a small shaft of sunlight filled the room in which he was chained. He flinched, although the light wasn't strong as it was sunset. He tried to move backwards, but there was nowhere left for him to go.

At first, he didn't notice the man standing before him, because he was too intent on wondering why he was afraid of the sun. Then he looked up. "I know you," he whispered. The man nodded. "Yes Spike. You do".

There was a silence. Spike shook his head. "I don't remember. What have you done to me?" Quentin looked at the vampire before him. He was filled with something between pity and disgust. "I think you know already".

"Yes I think I know," Spike murmured. "But why…"

"All will be made clear soon," Quentin replied coolly. "Once the slayer comes to terms with what's happened she'll seek you out. She has to you see. It's the only way".

"Buffy. She's a slayer…" said Spike. Then he heard the screams once more. They were always there of course. All his victims finally getting a chance to seek their revenge. But he had been thinking about Buffy and now this man had diverted his attention. But thoughts of Buffy made him feel even more guilty. He remembered now. He had kidnapped her friends - hurt them. He had tried to kill her….

"Oh God it hurts. Everything…it hurts so much…."

"Yes I imagine it would do," said Quentin, narrowing his eyes. " I'd get used to it if I were you".

………………………………............................................................................................................................

"We're surrounded," Buffy answered her friends. "Great," sighed Xander. "Buffy - I hate to say this, but we kind of have to work with Spike. I mean, you know I can't stand the guy - ok - I hate him worse then The master, the mayor, Angelus and all the evil in the world rolled into one - but it's looking like we've got no other choice".

"I agree with Xander," added Willow. "Hey - you know Cordelia left for LA to become famous? She should have stuck around for a while - wait - did I just say that?"

Buffy chanced a look out of the window. To her horror, the number of journalists and reporters had increased. " All of our neighbours are out there!" she groaned. "This is getting ridiculous. Ok, ok. I guess I'm on board with the finding Spike plan - if I have to be. There's just one problem. How?"

"How what?" asked her mother, also taking a turn at looking out of the window through a gap in the closed curtains. "How are we supposed to find him? I mean, the council said he'd be here by tomorrow. I'm guessing we can't wait that long". Giles and Willow shared a look. "What?" said Buffy. "I know that look. That's the - we have a plan but we know it might go wrong so we won't tell Buffy look!"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Fine. There's no use trying to lie to you is there? "We could try and locate Spike. But my magic abilities aren't exactly of the highest level Buffy. It could backfire and - we'll need something that belongs to him - so…"

"That rules that out then," said Buffy. "We have to find another way".

"Wait I've got it!" said Joyce and they all turned to look at her. "You do?" said Buffy. "Yes. There's one of Spike's old lighters lying around somewhere. Remember when I thought he was good and invited him in that time?"

"You mean, when he tried to kill us all just to get a lousy spell from Willow so he could get his girlfriend back? That time? I can't believe you kept that in our house!"

"Calm down Buffy. It's only a lighter!" exclaimed Xander. "Yeah - but it's his - never mind".

"What? It's a good thing I kept it now isn't it? Besides, I didn't know it was his Buffy. I just kept it for lighting candles. Is that a crime?" Buffy sighed. "Ok, so what else do you need?"

"Just some basic ingredients from the magic box. But …" she gestured outside. "I guess I'll sneak out the back later. It's not like they'll be out there all night or anything, right?" Buffy answered.

………………………………...........................................................................................................................

"Ok, maybe I was wrong," she muttered. It was now black outside, sunset long over. "The magic box stays open late, right Will?" Willow nodded. "For special customers. It unofficially stays open until midnight".

"They're not safe out there," continued Buffy. "Ok, I have to do this now".

"I'll go with you. Just so you know what you're looking for," said Willow, standing up. Buffy nodded and they sneaked out through the back door.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

The Slayer. She was a slayer. Even though his memories were still confused, Spike knew enough to understand what that meant. She was a champion. Someone who fought evil for whatever higher powers were out there. She fought creatures like him.

It used to be so black and white - they way he remembered it anyway. She was on one side of the fight, himself on another. They hated each other with a fiery passion. It was the way it was supposed to be. But now, he only wanted to be near her. To hear her say that it would turn out alright. He was so confused about what was going on - she was the only thing that was clear to him. The only thing he remembered. That had to count for something.

Maybe he just wanted to make amends. Tell her what a fool he had been, hear her forgiveness. That was the key, he decided. To make the pain go away. Forgiveness. But he knew that as long he was in this world, that would never happen. But having this soul burning beneath his skin, maybe that would help.

He knew now what had happened to him. He just didn't know why, or what to do about it. He didn't know how this girl - this slayer - fit into everything, or why he couldn't stop thinking about her. He just had to hope the answers would become clear to him soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**__**

Chapter six

Buffy signalled for Willow to stop as they reached the magic box. "What's wrong Buffy?" she asked in concern.

"I don't know. My spider sense is tingling. It's like we're being followed?" Willow glanced around. "I don't feel anything," she answered. "No of course you don't. You're not the slayer are you? It's always up to me to watch out for these things isn't it?" Buffy snapped without meaning to.

"What's wrong with you?" asked her friend, her eyes wide. Buffy's gaze softened - but only a little. "Sorry Will. It's just - this has all just caught me off guard you know? I'm having to cope with everything that happened on graduation day - that's not something you just forget about, plus the fact that Angel left me and…"

"But Buffy, whenever we try to talk to you about it, you back away. It's like you can't talk about it - at least not to us. You know we're always there for you, right?" Willow looked hurt and Buffy felt guilty, so she dropped the conversation like she always did. "We'd better keep moving," she murmured.

Buffy then found her thoughts turning regretfully back towards Spike as they had done frequently since this whole mess began - just a few hours ago.

This shouldn't be happening. Why should all my attention be focused on Spike? It was just wrong on so many levels that she was depending on him, hoping he came through for them when the time came. It was sick.

As they searched for the right ingredients for the spell, gathering up the crystals, herbs and candles, Buffy found herself picturing him - and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't banish him from her mind. She saw his blond hair, almost white. His piercing blue eyes that a person could get lost in if they looked for too long. The outline of his body in all that leather - she suddenly froze as she re-evaluated what she had just been thinking. Where had that come from? Where had it been leading? This was Spike she was picturing here. Spike who had tried to kill her, who had hurt her friends and family. Who had killed two slayers and God knew how many others. How she could even begin to think of him as attractive made her ill.

"Buffy?" there it was again. The concern and pity that was all she saw in her friends eyes now. Willow probably thinks I'm wondering about Angel. God, I should be thinking about him!

"I'm fine," she told Willow for the thousandth time. I'm only thinking about that monster because I have to, she told herself firmly. So what if he has a soul now? So what if his trapped somewhere against his will probably helpless and confused and feeling all the pain and guilt of what his done? That's no excuse! I'm thinking about this because I need to find him to help us. Or - it's because you're missing Angel and you're lonely, a part of her thought. But she shut out that voice inside her. "Let's just get this over with," she muttered.

On the way back, Buffy paused yet again. Amongst the sounds of the night she distinctly heard the sound of something different. "Damn it there it is again". She turned round but could see nothing. "I know you're out there. Why don't we stop with the mind games now?" There was a silence, then she saw the face of a vampire before her - five actually.

"See - this is more like it!" she said. "Regular old evil. I can kill you guys right? I mean, I don't have to worry about you having a soul or anything? Coz you know, for a long while I only thought one of you guys had a soul and that I could deal with. But now - now it's all confusion because my enemy has been given one and now I have to work with him and it's all driving me crazy!"

With that last word she leaped into the fray with a roundhouse kick that sent the one in front of her flying backwards. She then ducked the vampire beside her as he sloppily lunged towards her and staked him perfectly. She tried hard not to breath as the vampire's ash blew past her and faded into the night. Then she whirled round and kicked the one she had knocked down earlier in the chest and staked the other two in quick succession. After trading several blows with the final monster, he was taken care of as well. "Why can't you all be the same? When did it get so complicated?" she whispered after she was done.

As soon as all was still again, she suddenly heard the sound of applause in the distance. She turned around to see that some of the press and her neighbours had followed her. Most just stared in shock, but the youngest in the group were yelling out and clapping wildly. "That was cool - how'd you do that?" One of the kids asked. "Is it part of a movie?" another one said.

Gradually they all started to move towards her. This is worse then vampires, she thought desperately. "Buffy," they called. "Can you show us how you did that?" and "Willow - are you friends with this woman? Can you tell us what she is?"

The questions kept on coming. Buffy grabbed Willows arm and headed for her home.


	7. chapter 7

**__**

Chapter Seven

When Spike opened his eyes, he didn't know how much time had passed. He was more coherent then before though. He remembered a long journey, a man who he knew he had met before, and something about Buffy Summers. The slayer. He also knew that he had a soul.

He was now chained in the back of an old warehouse that looked as bad as he felt. It might even collapse on him at any moment - for which he would be grateful. He remembered how he had gotten here very well. He didn't want to be here at all of course, but the council of watchers have very persuasive means of getting what they want. Painful means as well!

"So you are with us at last," said the man before him. "I trust you remember me now?"

Spike looked at him hard for a few minutes, then he nodded. "Quentin Travers," he muttered. Quentin nodded "Precisely!"

"Now are you going to tell me where I am? Or even better how about why I'm here?" Quentin grew serious as he looked at Spike. "You are in the valley of the sun," he replied quietly. "Sunnydale," sighed Spike. "Great. Again with the why part off the question?"

"As usual, it is because of the slayer. But you are not here to destroy her - as I know you so desire to. But you're here to help her". Spike nodded in understanding. "Right, of course. I have to help her. One thing though - why do I have to do anything you say? I wasn't exactly given the greatest welcome in history now was I?"

"You will help us because of your soul," said Quentin coldly. "You are the only being in this miserable world with the information that can aid us. Because it affects you to Spike. What the slayer has done".

Spike grinned slightly. "So for once it isn't my fault that something's buggered up. Won't be long before she finds me then will it? Just what I need. She'll turn this round on me somehow mate. I guarantee it".

"So you're getting back to your old self again," said Quentin softly. "That's good. It means you will remember more information. The spell Spike. Tell me about the spell".

"So that's why the light show," Spike said. "I mean - my soul. The bloody thorn in my side that won't stop hurting. The pain and guilt I'm feeling - it's all because you want bloody information? Why not just torture me like you've done to others in the past?" then he registered what the watcher had said. "Spell? Now you lost me. I'm not a witch you know. You need Willow for that".

"No. You are the only being with this knowledge Spike. Would you like to know more? The Spell of Illusions Spike. Very old and powerful. You killed the original guardian of the spell back in the 1800's when you were turned into a vampire. She was one of you're first victims. Remember? When you killed her, the knowledge past into you".

Spike still looked blank. "You know, a vampire tends to remember his first kills. I'd remember someone like that".

Quentin looked genuinely confused. Then he sighed impatiently. "Well we have no time to waste. The slayer will get the information out of you I'm sure of it".

Spike watched angrily as the watcher turned away from him. He was right about one thing. He was getting back to his old ways. With one very big difference. This time he cared.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

It was now the next evening since they had gathered the ingredients for the locators spell. Willow had set everything up - with the curtains closed of course. After a few failed attempts - such as the power failing temporarily, the rug bursting into flames and then the flames turning into ice, they finally learned that Spike had arrived in Sunnydale. "But the spell's blocked somehow," said Willow, downcast. "I'm not powerful enough to break through to see the exact location".

Buffy nodded. "You tried your best Willow. That's all anybody could expect. I guess I'll go on a general sweep of the town. They'll probably be somewhere deserted - I know I'm looking for a needle in a hay stack but I have to try".

"Hey Buffy - you're little fight with the vamps last night's made the headlines again!" said Xander. "This just keeps getting more disturbing," added Oz as he watched Buffy fighting on the TV. "You said it," agreed Buffy, standing up. "Be careful ok honey?" said Joyce, giving her daughter a hug. "I'm always careful," said Buffy. "I'm just saying…." her voice trailed off at Buffy's look.

"Ok, you guys don't have to be so concerned about me all the time. I'm really, honestly, totally completely fine!"

They all glanced at each other. "Ok," said Xander. "It's just, you keep saying you're fine. All the time. It's starting to sound kind of fake".

"What would you know about it anyway?" snapped Buffy. "How could you possibly help me? Lets say I'm not fine. Lets say I'm falling apart. I can't sleep. I keep seeing all those people who died on graduation in my dreams. I keep thinking how close we all came to our deaths. I keep seeing Angel walk away from me and I keep feeling sick that I now have to depend on the thing I hate most in the world? What could you possibly do about any of it?"

With that she left her friends in a stunned silence as she walked out the door.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

Just when Spike thought that he would die of complete boredom, something happened that shocked him more then anything else. He felt his chains being unlocked. "What's going on?" he murmured in wonder.

"We're letting you go Spike," said Quentin. "We're going to let you find the slayer. She has to learn from her mistakes. And if that means hard solutions to her problems so be it. It's the way things have always been with the council. And things are about to get a lot worse before they get any better".

"So what exactly is this mistake you keep mentioning". They stared at each other coldly. "The whole world knows about everything," Quentin finally revealed. Spike stared at him in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"

Quentin shook his head. "I'm afraid not. So you see why we have to make this as hard as possible?"

Spike shook his head. "No, not really. You've cursed me with a soul. You've told her about it. You've told her I'm in sunnydale. And now you're letting me go and tell her everything?"

Quentin nodded. "Yes. You'll find out soon enough why this is the most painful lesson both of you will ever learn. You think I don't know what's coming? Think I haven't read the signs? I know more then you might think, and I know that this is all going according to the plan. I'll get the spell, and things will go back to the way they were. Buffy will learn her lessons. And in the process, so will you".

"No. I don't get it. It doesn't make sense if you go giving her the answers she needs on a silver plate". said Spike in confusion.

"It will make sense in the end. This is a test Spike. Not just for her but for you. Why do you think you gained the knowledge from that witch and not Drusilla, Darla or Angel? Because fate intervened. Fate knew you were meant for this moment. You were chosen for this task Spike."

"And what task is that?" he asked. "Coz I'm getting a headache with all this cryptic talk. Let's get this straight. You're here to teach Buffy a lesson about revealing her secret. You're teaching her said lesson by cursing me with a soul because I'm the only one with a spell she needs - even though I can't remember the damn spell. You're letting me go so I can find her to tell her I'm the one with what she's looking for although she knows this already. Some lesson this is supposed to be…." then he finally got it. "Me. I'm the test. She has to work with me. It's the perfect punishment isn't it? Working with someone who embodies everything she hates in the world?"

Travers chuckled slightly. "Ok. Maybe it hasn't got anything to do with fate. Maybe it's just luck was on my side! If she can work with you Spike, she can get through anything. She will truly have become a great slayer!"

TBC

Hope that wasn't to confusing! It is three in the morning as I'm writing this so I'm hoping I'm making sense!! Plus I've given up smoking - one week and counting - so my concentration seems to have left the country! As usual, thanks for the reviews - any reviews is a good thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**__**

Chapter Eight

There was a storm on the horizon, Buffy could feel it. It had been building up for the last two weeks since they had finished school - since the heat wave had begun.

This was getting stupid. She had looked everywhere she could think of, but had found nothing. She paused then as she felt herself being watched. She knew instantly who it was. "This is a little too easy isn't it?" she asked him as she turned round. Spike shook his head. "Not really. The easy parts over with now".

"So this is the Council's idea of a joke, right? That whole - it's out of my hands speech from Quentin was a load of crap?"

"Actually just the opposite," Spike answered, taking a couple of steps forward. "It really is out of his hands. They're looking for a spell that only I know of - but I don't remember what the hell they're talking about". Buffy rolled her eyes. "So the test he was talking about that I have to pass to solve this mess is working with you. Great. I just thought that you'd been cursed with a soul to help us through the test and then you'd be on your way back to whatever hole it was you crawled out of!"

Spike narrowed his eyes. "Careful slayer," he warned. She ignored him completely. "Aren't you supposed to be all weak and kittenish?" she continued. "You know - oh, the guilt, I killed so many people so I deserve to die routine? Thought it was supposed to last longer then a couple of nights. If it's real".

"You know It is," he answered her coldly. " Maybe this finally proves that I'm stronger then Angel. And is that how you like it slayer? So you can be in control all the time? Been thinking about me a lot have you?" She looked away from him. "Only because I have to," she murmured.

Spike looked at her, really looked. He'd spent the last two nights thinking of nothing but this moment. It had been all that was keeping him going. Finally seeing her, trying to figure out just what in the hell was wrong with him for thinking this way about her. Asking her forgiveness. Letting her make the pain go away. Why was he acting this way? How was it helping him?

"You're supposed to help us," she was saying. "So help already so my life can go back to sort of normal." he shook his head. "I'm really sorry pet. I can't. haven't you been listening to a damn thing I've said? I can't remember anything. Quentin said something about The Spell Of Illusions. But I'd remember something like that wouldn't I?"

Buffy sighed. "We need to get to Giles, this is more his area of expertise. That's if they're still talking to me!" Spike frowned at this piece of news. "What, the fabulous Scooby gang has fallen apart? Didn't think it was possible". She looked at him seriously. "It does happen. It has happened. We just don't let evil see our weakness that's all. First role of staying alive".

"You've got me there slayer, I have to admit it. I get the point".

"Something's different about you," she said frowning. "It's called a soul love".

"Yes, but I've never really believed it until now. I guess a part of me still doesn't. I mean - I haven't seen any proof". they stared each other, trying to understand what was happening. Buffy, so used to always arguing and fighting with the vampire, had nothing left to say. So they shared the quiet. "You do know," said Spike finally, "that we won't be going anywhere because we're surrounded, don't you?"

Buffy looked around, annoyed that he had noticed and she hadn't.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

"I can't believe that she would say something like that to us," Xander was fuming. "We're supposed to be her friends right?"

"It's ok Xander," said Willow softly. "She just has to get through this on her own. She'll figure it out one of these days that she needs us. That we give her half of her strength. That we can't help it that she was chosen and we were not, but we'll always be in the fight anyway because we love and care about her".

Joyce looked at Willow in amazement. "I couldn't have said it any better myself," she agreed. "We just have to give her some space that's all. If anyone should know that about Buffy it's me. I am her mother".

"Well, I just wish she'd hurry up and realise it sooner. You realise we've been giving her space all summer? I know it's only been two weeks, but still. She never talks to us. I say we go after her…."

"And how do you propose we do that?" pointed out Giles. "We're surrounded by the press. I'm thinking that they'll be out there all night - for as long as it takes to get more proof about this. It's a big story".

There's nothing we can do at the moment," said Oz, coming over to take Willow's hand. "We just have to wait for her to call with any news".

………………………………............................................................................................................................. The vampires looked at her, no expression at all on their faces. "So what's up guys," she asked them, falling into a fighter's stance, Spike following suite. "Where's the witty comebacks? The taunts? What's with the silent act?" Although she would never admit it, these guys were starting to get under her skin. They weren't like normal vampires that she came up against on her nightly patrols. She could tell, just by the look in their eyes that they had been around along time. There was too much knowledge in them.

"Careful slayer," said Spike again. "These guys are serious".

"Think I don't know that? But come on, there's only ten of them. We can take ten between us". He shook his head. "Look around us love. There's more then ten". And she did look. And she saw, with growing horror, that there was maybe 30 odd vamps surrounding her, and God knew how many more in hiding.

"I still say we try and take them," she said stubbornly, not wanting him to see that she was afraid. "I didn't take down the mayor just to be killed by a bunch of lowlife's who think they're the next best thing. Or bad thing I should say".

"Our Queen is angry that you have exposed our world," said one, stepping forward, elected the leader. "It has ruined our way of life. Humans will now know what to expect from us and will be ready for our attacks".

"Yeah well, she's not the only one," muttered Buffy. "Wait a minute - Queen? That's a new one. Isn't it mostly Master's with you guys?"

Buffy didn't wait for an answer as she launched the first attack. As she fought, she realised with amazement that she and Spike actually made a pretty good team. Their fight moves complimented each other, and they were breathtaking to watch. Every movement fast and deadly. But no matter how many they killed, more still seemed to appear before them. Buffy was getting tired. "We can't keep this up," she called to Spike. "I did warn you!" he yelled back. "Kind of busy at the moment for small talk slayer".

"Spike we have to make a run for it….." she was cut of when a new movement caught her eye. The vampire that Spike was fighting produced a sword as if from no where. The weapon seemed to crackle with energy as it sliced through the air. She noticed the other's had swords all exactly alike. "Spike…." she tried to warn him, but Spike didn't see the sword until it was to late. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as Buffy watched the sword descending through the air and make contact with Spikes chest. Metal pierced flesh and Spike collapsed to the ground.


	9. chapter 9

**__**

Chapter Nine

Buffy fought her way over to where Spike lay on the ground with all the determination she had left in her. She felt a sharp pain in her arm as one of the creatures blades brushed past her - but it was only a scratch. She was moving to fast for it to be anything else. She had cleared a space as she went, so there were less vamps now. She stood in front of Spike, with a sword of her own that she had claimed. She swung it around her in wide arcs, vampires ash flying all over the place as she beheaded them.

Soon, where there had been thirty, there was only a dozen. In her desperation she had succeeded in the kill, now the odds more to her favour. Sweat pouring down her face, she stared at them all in turn, willing them to back down. "If I were you, I'd leave now while you still can and run back to your little queen and tell her……that I'm handling the problem!"

Several of the vamps actually took her for her word, fleeing into the shadows. She grinned at this. "Well, it's about time you listened to what I have to say. I thought you guys were smart. I take it you are at least over 50 years old right? A century at least? How come I can take you down just like that?"

One of the vamps stepped forward. "Because they were fools. Cowards. And our kind have been taught to willingly die for the cause".

Buffy was liking this even less then she had a moment ago. "What cause? Who exactly is this queen of yours?"

" Her name is of no importance to you. She is known as Queen of the dead". As the thing stepped closer to her, Buffy tried not to cringe. It was still hard, even after four years of being the slayer. "So she's a vampire?" As they had been talking, Buffy noticed that his so called backup had also disappeared. It was just her and him in the cemetery now. "The time for talking is now past….Buffy".

Buffy felt a shiver run through her. It wasn't often her adversary's called her by name. That must mean this queen of theirs had some connection to her, or those that knew her. Another thing for me to worry about, she thought angrily. She groaned out loud as he drew his sword. "I'm not really longing for another drawn out to the death sword fight," she told him. "It cuts down outfits that you've spent this side of forever saving up for - literally!"

"Yes," said the vampire. "I heard about you're little escapade with Angelus last year".

"Ok, how the hell do you know so much about me? Since I know you're name you could at least tell me…."

He caught her off guard then with a flash of his sword. She only just had time to block it. They fought viscously, all the while she was aware of spike not getting any stronger. She felt pain as the vamp managed to get past her defences briefly and cut her arm - this time it was worse then a scratch, but she barely had the time to think about it. Adrenaline made her numb to the pain. Soon, after a good half an hour of sword play, she was getting tired. God if this doesn't let up soon - she didn't even want to think about it. This one was definitely giving her a run for her money. Suddenly the monster exploded into a pile of dust. It happened so suddenly that Buffy faltered slightly and almost fell to the floor.

She paused and glanced up. It was who she had least been expecting. She had been so involved with the fight that she hadn't noticed Spike struggle to get up and move behind them. She saw the blood seeping through his shirt and if possible he looked even paler. His eyes half closed, blood was also running down the side of his face from where he had been cut. They stood that way for a second or two, former enemies turned into allies - no matter how briefly. At that moment, she realised she had never been so grateful to see anyone in her entire life. Then Spike also fell to the floor again beside her. For a moment she was dazed, then she realised that they had to get out of there.

"Spike," she said, crawling over to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him up. "We so have to get out of here. They'll be back. We have to hide - I can hear more coming".

"How….Far away are they?" he murmured. She shook her head. "I don't know. It'll take them a while but they'll track us eventually". Spike tried to open his eyes again and she could see a renewed strength within him as he tried to take a few steps with her. But then she saw that strength and power within him fade away as quickly as it had appeared. "Spike please come on. You have to try".

He shook his head weakly. "Something's wrong".

"Poison?" she whispered. "No. But…I'm weaker then I should be. A sword through the chest would hurt like the fires of hell I'm not saying it wouldn't. But it'd only take a few days to heal up - and I know I could walk - or at least crawl. But this…it's like I'm ….drained of power".

"Ok, said Buffy firmly. "Listen to me. There's a crypt over there that's sort of hidden by bushes - do you think you can make it there?"

"I'll try". It was all he could offer her.

The crypt was cold and filled with shadows. Buffy practically dragged Spike over to the back, laying him down on the ground as carefully as she could. "If only there was something to block the door," she muttered. "It'd make me feel a whole lot better". Spike chuckled slightly. "You really think that'd help pet?" She sighed and shook her head. "I still can't believe we made it out of that! I mean there were what, thirty odd vamps out there?" Spike nodded. "You forget that most of them fled the scene. And it's weird what you can achieve if you're desperate enough. I should know. Been caught in a few desperate moments myself over the years. Some of them even with you!"

She looked at him in surprise. "Really? I wouldn't think you'd admit something like that to me". he remained silent. She walked back to the door and peered out. "I don't see anything yet," she told him. "I think we're safe for now. We need to get back to my place - or at least let the other's know what's happened. You need help".

Spike was still silent. "Spike?" she asked him frowning. "Are you ok?"

He nodded weakly. "Yeah, I'm getting there slowly. What's the point in you being all polite? We both know it's fake. This whole thing is. You're only being this way because you need me right? Why should I trust you anymore then the council? How do I know you won't just take me back to yours and torture me with magic or whatever to get the info and then kill me?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "You're right. That's probably exactly what I'll do. Except for the fact that you saved my life out there - I won't forget that in a hurry. Maybe you're starting to change. You're right. I do need you. But as one warrior to another, maybe we can just - call it a truce for now".

He smiled. "I think I like that plan of yours slayer. I like it a lot…."


	10. Chapter 10

**__**

Chapter Ten

Buffy sat next to Spike and she watched him gathering his strength. "So, there's just one thing wrong with this truce," she said, trying to sound light hearted. "The fact that I despise you pretty much covers it. I mean what, you've killed thousands - maybe even millions of innocents since you were turned. You're completely evil. You've hurt me and those closest to me. How can I ever agree with anything you say or any point you try to make?"

"Damn Summers. You never could pull off friendship well could you?" he coughed a little as he said this. "And you could never fake not being worried about being in a near death experience," she shot back heatedly. "Oh, so you've seen me in one of those situations have you? I hate to break this I'm so wonderful it's all about me thing you got going, but when ever we fought? You may have wounded me, scared me off, but you never got the pleasure of nearly killing me".

She looked away. "Yeah, unfortunately. And friendship? Do you even know the meaning of the word?"

"Listen, I don't know what you white hats think you know about evil, but I'd like to think you've done you're research before going on about things you don't understand". Buffy stretched her legs out and frowned. "That bleedings gotten worse. Let me take a look?" Spike looked at her in amazement. "Are you crazy? What do you think you could do about it? You're not exactly a doctor. And I'll be fine". She shook her head. "You've been drained of some of you're power Spike. You're not fine. Let me see". He hesitated, and then began to unbutton his shirt. The wound had healed up partly as they had been talking for the past hour, but it was still deep. She took the shirt from him and then realised that he was half naked. Ok, bad plan, she thought. Wait - why is this a bad plan? It's not like I even think his - ok admit it Buffy, it'll make things a whole lot easier on your self. It's not because you're missing Angel or because you're lonely. You've always thought Spike was hot. But I'd never act upon it. That idea is unthinkable, she fought with herself as she took off her jacket and covered his wound.

"What's with the dramatics Buffy. I' m a vampire, I'll heal already would you just leave it?" She looked up at his harsh tone - not sure why she was bothered by it. He had done much worse to her in the past - why did it annoy her if he snapped at her? "Fine," she said coldly, moving away. "Fine," he murmured. "So, why don't you enlighten me Spike. What is it us white hats don't understand?" He sighed. "Everything. You don't understand anything about evil. You think you got it all figured out? You think because we have no soul, we don't know what it's like to feel? You couldn't be more wrong". She shrugged. "So? Explain it then".

"We feel, ok? More then you could know. We can fall in love". Buffy frowned. "Love? How did we get onto this subject again Spike?" He rolled his eyes at her. "It's just an example Buffy. Loves only one of the things you people don't get. Sure, we have no morals. If Dru ever turned her back on me or took another partner - I'd be mad as hell and maybe kill the guy or girl she was with and torture her for a few hours. But there wouldn't be all these rules you humans have to tie us down - so if I did the same thing, I would be in the wrong just as much as she was. You understand? There's no restrictions, no worries".

"Very romantic," she frowned. "But if there's no rules or responsibilities, how can you be in love with another person? Part of being in love means caring if the other person is with you or not. Respecting them. Missing them when their not there, hurting when they hurt feeling the same things. If you have no ties…."

"But see in a way it makes us more in love because it makes us more free. We can actually have fun. And evil cares whether or not something happens to one of its own. Just in a different way. But hell, I don't know where that little speech came from. Love's just one thing you don't get. You think that evil doesn't have honour or friendship? We do. Yet again it's different. Substitute friendship for loyalty and you got it covered. We're loyal to our side".

"Except when you've got a soul," she murmured. "So tell me, since you know everything. What's your perspective on things now? Do you still agree with what evil does? What you did? Is it better that way?"

Spike sighed. "No. It's not better. It's hell. It's chaos. It's …evil. It's a side of the world I've belonged to now for so long I don't know how to be any different. That's why this soul is killing me".

"Wow," she said with a giggle. "Very deep and meaningful. Do you realise we're actually having a conversation? What's up with that?"

"I had noticed," he nodded. "What happened to not agreeing with anything I said?" Her eyes widened. "Hold it. I never said that I understood anything. I still don't get evil and I never will. It gives me a headache. But I am listening to what you have to say without kicking your ass - give me a break ok?"

There was a sudden crash of thunder and the sound of rain pouring down outside. "It's the storm," whispered Spike as he closed his eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

**__**

Chapter Eleven

"What about you?" Buffy looked up at Spike's question. "What?" she asked dazed a little - she had almost drifted off to sleep. "You were hurt in the fight. You need stitches?" She grimaced as she looked at her arm. "Maybe. But I can live with it - benefit of being the slayer remember? Super healing powers". He nodded. "Handy skill that".

"So, we're covered on the fact that evil has feelings and that it can love," she sighed, her voice slightly sarcastic on the last word. "But it still doesn't count because you don't understand right or wrong. Or you do - but you choose not to act on it".

"Right, because that's the way of nature Buffy. You good guys do everything by the book, you're forthright and noble and heroic. You think of others before you, and you save lives. On the dark side of the force we do everything to prevent that because it goes against everything that we are. We live to bring about chaos and destruction in your lives. It's the rules. Or - it used to be the rules for me.

"But why does it have to be the rules Spike?" She asked him. "I'm so sick and tired of the God damn rules. Why can't good and evil work together for once? Why can't we all call it a truce so I can have a life?" Spike smiled slightly. "And once again we're back to the point. Maybe we can pass the council's little test after all. It seems like we're agreeing with each other".

Buffy also smiled. "Well…maybe a little bit. I don't know what the others will think though. But you know what I think?" He shook his head. "Given half the chance, from what I've seen tonight, you could be a good man Spike. I just don't know if this is going to last that long - or even if you want it to". Spike didn't have anything to say to her last remark. "Ok," she murmured. "I know that it's like the ocean and the sky's decided to swap places out there - but if we don't move now we never will. You think you're strong enough to make it back to my place?" He nodded. "A bit better. That sleep I had earlier helped. Is my invitation still available though Buffy?" Her eyes met his and for no reason at all she felt very nervous. "It will be".

She reached forward to help him up. Big mistake. The feel of his skin brushing against hers made her feel weak. He stumbled slightly as he rose, and it bought them closer together. Once again they made eye contact. Ok, thought Buffy, this isn't what I had in mind when I was told I had to work with Spike. Not at all. She felt his grip on her hand tighten slightly and she saw his eyes roam over her. She had never felt so exposed in that moment, not even when she had been with Angel. This was different to anything she had ever felt or experienced. "Buffy…what's going on?" he whispered. "I….." her voice trailed off as they moved even closer. In that moment she was completely helpless. She didn't care about anything except that she wanted to feel Spike's arms around her. She didn't care she was being a hypocrite, going against everything she had ever believed in. In that moment, she truly felt his soul. She finally believed.

The sound of thunder made her jump and she and Spike pulled away from each other quickly. "We should go," he told her. "Yes. Ok . This is it. This is me totally going". He gestured toward the door of the crypt. She started to walk forward and then hesitated. "Spike…." he raised his eyebrows. "I was only going to say that…it's weird how many things can change in one night isn't it?" A grin appeared on his face - a weak one - but it was there. "That's one way of putting it!"

………………………………............................................................................................................................

"I'm really worried Giles," said Willow, who was standing by the window. "What if something's happened to her? What kind of friends would we be if we just sit here? I'm starting to think Xander had it right after all. You know - the whole going after her thing?"

"What about …." started Giles. " I haven't seen anyone out there in a while. I know that it could be a trap, that they could be in hiding waiting for one of us to slip and do something supernatural. But to be honest I don't care. It's Buffy. We need to make sure she's ok. even if it's only to find out what's wrong with her at the moment. I know she can handle herself - but…."

"We get it Will," said Xander, standing up. " I say that we head out. We start looking in all the deserted buildings, warehouses…….."

Sudeenly the door crashed open. Willow, Oz, Giles, Xander and Joyce all turned to stare at the sight of Buffy and Spike. They were both soaked. They both had several deep cuts on their arms, and Spike had a nasty cut on his forehead. They could all see that he had no shirt on - but willow placed an arm on Xander's arm before he could make a point. Buffy was supporting Spike - who was about ready to collapse.

"Buffy, are you ok?" said Joyce rushing forward. "You've been gone nearly all night!"

"What happened?" asked Giles. Buffy helped Spike over to the couch. "We were ambushed by about thirty odd vamps. Said they were lead by some Queen of the dead chick. Spike's never heard of her, so I guess we should do some research. But we need to get Spike to remember a spell that's going to help us. We don't know how yet though".

"So that's why we have to work with him," muttered Xander. Buffy nodded. "Yep. It's the council's twisted sense of humor. It's the test we have to pass".

"Well, I'm glad you're ok," said Willow, coming to stand by her best friend. Buffy glanced up at her friends then. Her family. And she remembered how she had left things with them. "Listen, I'm sorry you guys. I didn't mean to say all those things. You know that right?"

Willow smiled. "We know. You've had a lot to deal with. Don't worry. We forgive you - it's what we're meant to do right? If we want to work together". Xander nodded reluctantly. "It would help if you talked to us more though Buffy," he added. She sighed, knowing that it wouldn't be that simple. "The time for talking is past Xander," she said. Spike looked at her sharply, sitting up slightly, his hand covering the wound on his chest that was still bleeding. "You stealing evil's lines now pet?" She chose to ignore him. "Ok. Let's get to work".

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**__**

Chapter Twelve

It was the next morning. The gang had been up all night researching. Xander was now flicking through the TV channels. Buffy's fight with the vampires outside the magic box the night before was now being shown on every channel. There was growing chaos among the residents of Sunnydale. Not just her neighbours, but perfect strangers. She could hear the noise they were making - no longer singular voices or shouts, but just a dull roar. She could hear things crashing outside as objects were thrown at the house. The police were outside, as well as yet more news vans.

"Have you seen it out there?" gasped Joyce. "It's like a nightmare or something!"

"Yes. That's the way it goes I guess," sighed Buffy. "I spend most of my waking hours saving them from the forces of darkness and they throw it back in my face by claiming that I'm the bad guy".

"Way of the world," said Oz. "They'd rather get rid of the problem, pretend it doesn't exist, then find out the facts".

"How's the research going people?" asked Spike, who had woken up at last. They all turned to look at him warily. "I'm…I'm finally getting somewhere. I think," Willow muttered. Spike and Buffy glanced at each other. "It's ok Willow. I'm not going to bite".

"Sorry if I seem a little on edge Spike, it's just the last time we met, you did kind of kidnap me and threaten to…do all kinds of things to me and kill Xander".

"Ok, we knew this would be a problem didn't we? But we just have to deal with it. Like the council said - it's the only way to get that problem out there to go away," said Buffy. Xander raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me? What happened to the - his a monster and we shouldn't have to work with him attitude?"

"Xander please….." Buffy desperately tried to cover up what Xander had said, but it was too late. "You said that huh?" said Spike, narrowing his eyes dangerously. "Let's feel the trust in this room!"

"Look. Let's just calm down. Fine, I did say that but - it was before I actually believed that any of this was happening. And well - Spike - you surprised me. I wasn't expecting you to act the way you have been," she turned to look at her friends. "He saved my life last night. He was stabbed through the chest by one of those vamps while he was fighting with me. Then, as I was in a sword fight, even though he was badly wounded, he got up and caught the vamp unawares and staked it. He didn't have to do any of that. He could have run away, ignored me or something. But he didn't. He stuck around. That proves change right?"

"Buffy," said Giles. "You can't expect us to just accept this. Just because his changed doesn't mean that we're ready for him to. His done a lot of damage in his day …"

"So did Angel," interrupted Buffy. "I know it was only yesterday that I was proving Angel was different - but a lot's changed in the past 24 hours. We've called a truce. Now, I want you guys to be grown up about this and do the same".

"I agree with Buffy," said Oz. Spike looked at him in amazement. "It's the only way we're going to get anything done".

There was a silence. Then Willow opened one of the old books that lay across the coffee table. "There is a way to get the information we're looking for. But as usual it's very advanced and…..anyway…..it's a past life spell".

"A what now?" asked Spike. "It's not exactly travelling through time," continued Willow. "You'd still be here. But a part of you would be somewhere else. You'd travel back through your memories to the place that has the relevant information. No one has ever proven that past lives are real - not for humans. And since it's technically still the same life or un life as you have now - but it's the only spell I could find that might work".

"I'm not sure about this," said Spike hesitantly. "What if I get stuck there or something?" Willow nodded. "It's a possibility. You'd need someone to help you. To keep you in this plain of existence. I'll…."

"I'll do it," volunteered Buffy. Now Spike was more then amazed. "It makes sense doesn't it?" asked the slayer.

"I'll get the ingredients ready," said Willow. "But Giles will have to do the spell. I'll help, but I'm not up to that level yet". Joyce was looking concerned. "Are you sure it's a good idea to do the spell here? What if someone sees?" she asked. Buffy looked at the window. "Then they see. They've already got enough footage of me fighting evil. And hopefully this spell will erase what's happened. That's what I'm guessing anyway". Buffy paused. "What about the Queen of the Dead? Any news on what she is yet?"

Xander shook his head. "No. There's no mention of her at all. There's been Kings of the dead, Masters of the dead. Queen of Zombies and a Queen of witches but apart from that…."

"Right. Of course. Nothing," Buffy sighed. "That's probably a bad thing". Oz frowned in concentration. "It could be. It could mean that this is a brand new thing that's only just risen or something". Buffy shook her head. "That can't be right. This thing knows all about me. The vamps that work for her knew my name. They knew all about you guys and about what I've done since I came to Sunnydale. It doesn't make any sense. But maybe that threat will go away once we say the spell as well. She was mad that I'd exposed their world".

After several minutes of preparation, Willow nodded. "The spells ready," she told them. Buffy went to sit by Spike who was looking unusually nervous. "This is going to be bad isn't it?" he asked her softly. "I'll see me as I was back then. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet". Buffy looked at him in sympathy. "You're just going to have to be. By helping us you'll prove to them that you've changed". He nodded. "Are we ready to start?" asked Giles

Buffy nodded and then she took Spike's hand.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Buffy started to feel extremely dizzy. She half closed her eyes, and she felt the way you do when you are half asleep and half awake. Then it was like she was walking through a thick fog that didn't seem to end. She heard sounds, not those of her friends talking. But she heard the sound of ….carol singers? Their singing echoed all around her. There was also the sound of children's laughter, the sound of horse's hooves against stone as they pulled old wooden carriages along. Then images came to Buffy's mind. In the carriages would be first class families. Men in black suites, ladies dressed in the finest silk. Automatically she seemed to know when and where she was. She was in London, 1800's. It was Christmas - the year William had been turned into a vampire.

"What are you doing here?" asked Spike. "I thought it was just me going back. I don't want you to see this Buffy". She looked around her in awe. "I don't know. Side effect of the spell maybe?"

"Damn magic. Always gotta have a side effect. Come on then. It's this way". Buffy felt slightly out of place as she walked, wearing her jeans, high heeled black boots and red silk top. Spike looked even worse in all that black. But she soon realised that no one could see them. "What are we, the ghosts of Christmas future or something?" she muttered. Spike laughed slightly - if a little bitter. "Or something," he told her.

It was like moving through a dream. They were heading towards a large house - it looked like a mansion. It was warm and inviting, candlelight shone in most of the windows. She couldn't remember opening a door, but somehow they were inside. There were stairs in front sweeping up to the other levels of the house. As they entered a large room to their left, Buffy began to feel uncomfortable. Something bad was about to happen - she could feel it. Spike had tensed beside her. The room was lit with many candles and a fire that kept away the chill in the air. A young girl sat in a chair by the fireside, reading.

"Will you're mother be back soon deary?" asked an all too familiar voice. Drusilla! Buffy spun round and saw the insane woman was standing by the window. William The Bloody stood beside her, arm wrapped around her shoulders. "She is at a party with my father," said the girl who looked to be no older then twelve. "But it is almost midnight," said William with a deceptive smile. "She wouldn't leave you all by yourself would she? It's dangerous to be alone". The girl looked up at them with a trusting look in her eyes. "But I'm not by myself am I? I have you to two to look out for me. If you truly are such great friends of my parents - surely you will protect me against any monsters of the night?"

The two vampires looked at each other and Drusilla laughed. It made Buffy feel sick. "She was so….innocent. It was half of the fun. She trusted us, asked no questions. The young never do. She knew nothing of her mother's secret life. Neither did her father or anyone else," said Spike beside Buffy. She turned to face him. He was staring at the little girl, lost in the past. Lost in his memories. "Spike," said Buffy, laying a hand on his arm, but he didn't even notice. "Her mother was a powerful witch. Guardian of secrets and spells known to no other. The council had only just discovered her. The party was a disguise that night you see. Her mother - Grace - was secretly meeting with the council. She would be protector to the slayer on the latest mission. And that's when they made the deal that if anything should go wrong and our world be exposed - then her spell would make things right".

"How do you know this?" asked Buffy in a whisper. He pointed at the scene before them. "I'm remembering it," he answered her.

"Come to me," Drusilla was saying in her childlike way. The young girl stood up slowly, the book she held falling to the floor.

Suddenly Buffy heard the front door crashing open. A woman came in, holding a cross in front of her. She had long brown hair and was dressed elegantly in gold. "Get out of here," she stormed. "Get away from her". William looked at the girl, then he reached out and grabbed the child, pulling her close to him. "But we were invited lady," he said calmly. "Not a step further now. It's for your own good to do as I say".

"Aren't you pretty," murmured Drusilla. "All gold's and red's. But soon the red will shine brighter then anything else - just the way we like it!"

"Anna," said grace in a whisper. "Please, let her go". William laughed cruelly. "Tricky, tricky. To rescue you're child you'll have to use your powers and reveal your secret. Unless we kill both of you soon - which is the plan. Then there will be no point in worrying".

Grace looked at both vampires for a long while, her blue eyes flashing dangerously in the firelight. "I am willing to do whatever it takes," she said, her voice gaining strength with every word. William nodded happily. "So are we". In the next second, the girl fell to the floor, cold as ice.

"You killed her," whispered Buffy in shock. "To weaken your enemy you do whatever it takes," said Spike. "That's another thing you should learn about evil pet. We don't bluff our way out of situations. We carry things through - to the end. Remember that".

Buffy looked back at grace, who was staring in shock at her daughter, to stunned to cry - to do anything. She watched in silence as the witch used everything in her power against the two vampires. The room was left in ruins by the time it was finished, but somehow Dru and William were still standing. Buffy could tell Grace's heart wasn't in it. She turned back to Spike. "We know what happens next. Do you remember the spell?"

He walked over to where Grace lay, still and silent by her daughter. Drusilla and William had vanished. Spike knelt down by his victims, actual tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he murmured. He reached out to take the girls hand, but his own finger passed through the image. "Spike, we have to go," said Buffy, trying to remember why she was here in the first place. All she could feel was Spike's grief. She walked across the room and took his arm. "Spike we have to go now!"

He looked up at her and everything else started to fade. All she remembered was a flash of light, and then she was staring at the anxious faces of her friends.


	14. Chapter 14

Arisluv - I'm glad you like this!

Artanis - Someone wants to translate one of my stories into another language? Sure you can!

I know i've started another fic, but don't worry i will finish this one as well! I just couldn't help it.

**_Chapter Fourteen_**

"What's going on?" muttered Buffy. "What's going on? What do you mean what's going on?" said Xander. "You guys have been out of it pretty much the whole day. Look - it's dark out!"

Suddenly a rock - or several - came crashing through the window. Buffy jumped out of the way just in time - and then she heard the angry shouts from outside again. "Yeah, it's getting dodgy out there," said Oz. She stared at him. "You think?" He nodded. "It's only just started getting violent. Ever since the light show and fog from the spell - I guess they think we're trying to get rid of them or something".

"I wish," said Buffy darkly. "We can't stay here much longer," said Joyce. "In fact I'd say we have to leave now".

"Agreed," said Giles. "But where…."

"How about my place?" suggested Xander. "My parents have moved me down to the basement now. We can get there from here through a few allies and I hate to say it - sewer tunnels - if we just sneak out the back. We'd have all the privacy we want". Buffy nodded. "Good plan," then she turned to look at Spike, who was still in a daze and hadn't spoken or moved since they had arrived back in present day. "Spike, we have to get going," she said, shaking him slightly. "You know, I never thought I'd be asking this," said Willow, "But - is he ok?"

Buffy shook his head. "Not really. He remembers the spell - but he had to relive the fact that he killed the original guardian of the spell and her daughter. And he had to feel guilty about it".

"Talk about de ja vu!" muttered Xander.

Buffy helped Spike to his feet slowly. "I'll be ok," he murmured. Nodding, she led the way out the back door of her house. They had just reached the entrance to a near by sewer tunnel when a shout from behind made them freeze in their tracks. "There they are!" There was the sound of running feet and angry shouts. There were also the now familiar questions from the reporters that were getting on her nerves. "Quickly into the tunnels," she said to her friends and they obeyed. "Great," she muttered, "Just what I need. If I never see another tunnel it'll be too soon!"

"I can't believe you have to put up with this!" gasped her mum. "You should get paid or something!" Buffy smiled. "Look at you trying to pretend this is normal! And I've been saying that for years, think anyone ever listens to me?"

They followed the tunnels for about fifteen minutes before Buffy indicated that they should head upwards again. As soon as they emerged she knew it was a mistake. She heard them before she saw them, but it was another family of vampires. "Hello again slayer," said one of them who stood in front. She stood protectively in front of her friends. "We are to take you to our Queen. She just can't wait to introduce herself to you all".

"Feeling's mutual. But here's an idea. How about she shows herself to me and stops being such a coward. And how about we let my friends go?"

"That's not gonna happen Buffy," protested Xander. "You think we're just gonna run away?" Buffy shook her head. "No. I think you're gonna live is what I think. Now hurry up and get out of here". Spike walked up to her side. "No. I think we're all in this together Buffy. And if you want your friends to live…" his voice trailed off as he looked at the vampires in front of them. "Lead the way," he finished simply. "But if you hurt anyone in this group, then your Queen will have a lot to answer for. I trust she knows who I am?"

The vampires laughed. "Oh, she knows you alright," said the one who had spoken before. "She knows you well - William! And she wants no harm to come to you. Only to the slayer and her kin. But there's time for that. There's lot's of time for that!"

Buffy didn't move. "I'm not going anywhere with you until i ....." that was the last thing she remebered..………………………………............................................................................................................................

When Buffy next opened her eyes, she found herself in a large under ground cavern. It was lit by several flaming torches. The smell of blood and dead things was strong in the air and it made her gag. She realised she was chained to the wall of the cave, hands above her head. She turned her head to see what had become of her friends. Spike was next to her, also chained. He was once again badly bruised and she also felt a sharp pain in her head and blood drying on her forehead.

She saw Willow, Oz, Xander, her mother and Giles also tied up and unconscious. "How did this happen?" she murmured. She didn't remember….

"Magic," said Spike. "They started to move us forward, but we fought back. It was a mistake. They fought viciously, and they had a spell of sleep with them. Strong magic…." he started to laugh. She looked at him in alarm. "Spike?"

He smiled slightly at her worry. "Don't worry. I'm fine. But I should have seen this coming. I should have known who we were up against all the time". Buffy was lost. "Ok I give up. Who are we up against?"

The insane laughter that floated to her ears then told her all she needed to know. "You're right you should have known, naughty boys and girls," said the child like voice that she knew all to well. "You should have known it was me. The council didn't count on me did they? Oh no. They think they know the signs! Give nasty Spike a soul to work with them and he'll tell them all the secrets. They were right about that. But they don't see what I see. They didn't count on the slayer. I told you all I see is the slayer Spike. I told you that long ago but you didn't believe me! So I have to stop the slayer from hurting you anymore. She doesn't deserve you. No one does!" Spike turned away at her anger, ashamed. "I'm sorry for what's happened to you," he whispered.

The woman in front looked hurt for a moment and narrowed her eyes. Then she giggled. "It doesn't matter Spike. I don't care anymore about anything - you've seen to that. But do I want others to have you? No! Pretty boy always belongs to me! Silly slayer doesn't know what's right in front of her does she? She denies it for days and nights but it's all wrong".

Buffy met the woman's gaze slowly. "Once again you don't have any idea of what you're talking about. Do you….Drusilla?"

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**__**

Chapter Fifteen

Buffy was tired. She was so tired that she was ready to pass out again at any moment. But she couldn't do that, she was the slayer. She was supposed to hold it together. She looked at Spike, whose eyes were closed - but she knew he wasn't unconscious again. Hey - when did he get a new shirt? She wondered. She then looked up at Dru again. She wore a ridiculous costume of silken robes and a dress made of gold - complete with an actual tiara. She was humming a song softly, seemingly oblivious to the world.

"So, what's going on here?" asked Buffy, struggling to keep up with the bravado act. Truth was, Dru actually gave her the creeps. Maybe it was that look in her eyes, the one that said she wasn't really all there. But Dru was also pretty smart when she wanted to be - and that freaked Buffy out even more. She'd had dreams before of Dru killing people she loved - people she had loved - and they'd almost come true.

For once, Dru looked at her like a half way normal person. Like she wasn't insane. But her voice gave it away. "I thought I told you," she said coldly. Buffy shook her head. "No, you told me you saw something. Something about Spike. You never told me what". Dru smiled. "If I can't help you with that one deary, then no one can. You really don't see, do you? I see it all around and it sickens me. All golden light, all pure - full of hope. It's disgusting". Buffy shook her head. "What is? What's full of hope?"

"What he feels for you," said Drusilla. Although she had claimed not to care, there was a hint of jealousy in her voice. Buffy stared at her in shock. "He doesn't feel anything for me," she said in a whisper. "He can't - I mean - he couldn't have. He didn't have a soul when you knew him and….and his Spike. We…"

"Do you know where you're hate is made from?" said the dark vampire before her. "From passion. You two are so alike in many ways - even I saw that, clearly as I see the stars right now. You're both stubborn, like to get your own way. You are both courageous and strong. And you both can think of nothing but each other, even when you wanted to kill the other, you were both fascinated. And you won't admit it, but you respect each other." She laughed again at the look on Buffy's face.

Buffy looked at Spike who wouldn't meet her eyes. "I never got it until now," he murmured. "All you see is the slayer. I never got it. When I had no soul it was lust, it was an obsession, but now that I can feel…now…." he couldn't finish the sentence. Buffy suddenly wanted to change the subject. "So, you're this so called Queen of the dead. What's with all the magic acts? The enchanted swords, the sleep spell. And why kill us? I thought you needed the spell Spike had to…"

Drusilla held up a hand. "Enough. One thing at a time". She adopted a mock serious lecturer tone of voice before continuing. "I decided that it is more fun to bargain. Spike shall stay alive. Then, for there to be order again in this world, the council will have to do as I say. As to your first question…."

"Wait," interrupted Buffy. "This doesn't sound like you! Someone's been…." Drusilla went on talking as if Buffy hadn't spoken a word. "I know people. Powerful people who can help me. Anna…..it's time to come out now…."

From a side entrance to the cavern, a young girl appeared before them. At first Buffy couldn't place her, but then recognition hit and she gasped out loud - not something she had been known for. Spike's eyes widened. The girl was dressed in modern clothing, and her face was that of a vampire, but she had been the girl that Spike had killed all those years ago. The daughter of the original keeper of the spell. "She's my little princess," Dru was saying happily. "She helps me. Were best of friends aren't we Anna?" Anna rolled her eyes in response. "Sure. If you say so". Dru nodded, then turned to look at her prisoners. " I went back while you were sleeping Spike. They still hadn't been found - the house looked normal on the outside. I turned her, she looked fun to have around. Of course I forgot her as soon as I had, but I'm making up for that. She's learned much of her mother's craft and is very powerful".

Buffy looked across at her friends. She could see Willow beginning to stir from sleep. I didn't tell them about our trip to the past, she thought wildly. I should have. I didn't have time, but i should have made time before we left.

"I met up with Anna again soon after you betrayed us last year Spike. See - I've been planning this a while now, how to pay you back. I never thought it would be like this of course - how could I? This is better then any dream in the world. First, I make you watch as I slowly kill the slayers friends. Then I torture Buffy while waiting for the council's response to my needs. It's beyond perfect!!" She sighed in content.

Willow looked around, confused. She'd listened to most of what had been said in the last few minutes and didn't get any of it. Especially the parts about Spike and Buffy. She could sense Xander and the others waking. She had to do something. It was really up to her. Buffy was the one engaged in a battle of wills with evil, she was the only one who knew magic. Suddenly, she began to feel dizzy and warm, and she sensed something like an electric shock pass through her hands. Magic, she thought instantly. It had to be. She didn't know what was happening, but suddenly everything she'd read in the advanced books of witchcraft that Giles had thought he'd hidden became clear to her. She knew what it meant. She saw flashes of light pass from her chains along the groups and she felt her hands loosen.

Dru's eyes widened in surprise as Buffy lowered her own hands, a smile on her face. "There's just one problem with you're little plan Dru," said Buffy. "it was pathetic. You think no one's ever thought of that before?"

"How?" questioned Anna, furious. The vampires that had surrounded the cavern instantly came to their master's side. Now Buffy knew where the real power lay - it wasn't Drusilla these guys followed. It was Anna. In that instant as the vamps seemed to close around Anna rather then her, Dru knew it to. "You're supposed to be protecting me you know," she pouted. Anna forgot the Scooby gang for a moment, long enough for Buffy to walk over to her friends and stand in front of them. "You guys ok?" asked Buffy. "What's going on?" asked Xander. Buffy explained as best she could. "Before you say anything Harris, I don't want to know, alright? I've had enough problems for one bloody day that I have to make right - I don't need you to add to the list" said Spike.

"Will, how did you free us? I assume it was you?" asked Giles. Oz looked at his girlfriend in surprise and amazement. Doubt also lingered in his eyes. "I don't know," answered the Wicca softly. "Really. It was like everything I'd ever read about, I could suddenly do. It's weird, and it drained me. I don't think it'll happen again anytime soon". Xander looked serious for a moment. "So I guess we're chalking it up to one of those strange miracles that rarely happen around here. Like the snow storm sent to protect Angel?" he hesitated. "Not that I care what happens to the jerk".

"Why do you think I've been helping you, really?" Anna was saying. "You're mad, but not that mad surely? Those trinkets of help were but a fraction of my true power. I am the rightful queen if there is to be one. I earned that right as soon as you turned me. I have only been helping you so I can claim back what is mine - The spell of illusions. It belonged to my family. No one else can use it".

"Yeah, we'll see about that," muttered Buffy. Anna turned to stare at Buffy evilly. "I've been around a long time," she said. "I may look like a child but I'm over a century old. As old as my killer. He may be good now, but you shouldn't forget the power he holds. You shouldn't forget what his been capable of". Buffy nodded in agreement. "Sure. We've been over this. I know what his done and so do my friends. He can be a good man if his given the chance". Xander raised a hand. "Not all of us agree with that!"

"Enough of this," said Anna finally. "All this talk is boring!" The vampires moved forwards. Buffy scanned around quickly for weapons. Obviously they hadn't expected her to be set free! She nodded to spike who stood by her friends - much to their surprise. Buffy leapt over the vampires and reached for the torches on the wall. She wrenched them off the wall with all her strength and threw them forward. The vampires screamed as the flames engulfed them. They exploded in an instant. Spike was battling others and she moved back to help.

"Xander, watch out!" cried out Willow. A vampire had appeared behind Xander and his arm now wrapped around his neck in a tight grip. Spike knocked the vamp down and began to fight. Buffy needed a weapon - and fast. Then she noticed the swords that had appeared once again . She quickly took care of the nearest vampire and grabbed the sword from his grasp. She threw it to Spike who quickly beheaded the vamp he'd been fighting, and then he threw the sword back to Buffy. Buffy looked over at Anna, who had conjured the swords. Magic was crackling around her. She looked over at her friends and was satisfied at how Spike was handling the situation. She knew it wouldn't last for long. She felt a twinge of guilt as she saw her mother had been hurt, but Giles was helping her.

Buffy started to move towards Anna. She noted that Dru had moved to the back of the cavern and was now cowering in the shadows, watching her plans turn to chaos. Buffy started to run, vampire ash swirling around her. Anna was ready for her though. As Buffy neared her she raised the sword above her head, but she ran into an invisible barrier. Anna grinned as Buffy was sent flying backwards. A dark light shimmered around Anna as the barrier faded.

Buffy looked up slowly, a little dazed. She could see something glowing in Anna's hand. This doesn't look good!

Spike looked up as the lightening sped from Anna's hand towards Buffy. The slayer wouldn't be able to move in time, he knew that. He had to do something, but that would mean leaving the others practically unprotected. His mind was made up as he heard Buffy cry out. He saw her move just in time as the lightening struck the wall behind her, but Anna was ready with yet another attack. This time it was fire that sped across the cavern.

He knew it would be his death, and apart of him was laughing at the irony that he would die protecting the slayer! But another part was relieved. Maybe that act alone would make up for everything. He moved as fast as he could to stand in front of Buffy. "no!" she cried out in panic. But it was to late. The flames wrapped around him. He could feel the heat - but nothing happened! His skin didn't burn, he didn't fade. A light wrapped around Both him and Buffy, a bright flash of white. The fire seemed to move away from them. Everything seemed to freeze as they saw what happened next. The spell had reversed itself somehow, and the fire raced bac towards it's creator. It was like an explosion. Spike was thrown back by the force of it and he ended up near buffy. They sat close together as they watched Anna scream. Then it was over.

The remaining vampires in the cavern froze, and then they turned and fled. Buffy and Spike slowly stood up. She turned to face Drusilla, a smile on her face. " So I guess you'd better run while you can, unless you want to fight to? Gottta say I'm tired though. I could kick your ass, but if I can help it…."

Dru started to run before buffy had even finished. Spike watched her go with a mixture of feelings. Apart of him wanted to go after her. She had been a part of his life for so long now. But he had a new life now - or so he hoped.

"What happened?" asked Joyce, standing by Giles who looked equally mystified. Spike smiled. He pulled a chain out that had been hidden by his shirt. "I noticed that earlier," said Buffy in shock. "It's a talisman," he said. "I haven't just been wasting the year away pining for Dru you know!" he laughed at the expressions on their faces. "It's for protection. I spent some time with a allie of mine this year. His a dark sorcerer. He taught me how to make it. Evil has to be careful as well you know. It changes according to the intentions of the wearer, so now I have a soul it acted for good. And I'd heard how you defeated that witch Catherine Madison. The only good way to kill a witch is to reverse her spell against her - which is what happened".

"Thanks," muttered Xander after Spike had finished. Spike looked at him with a grin. "What was that? I didn't hear you!" Xander looked up. "I said thanks. For saving my life back there. Never thought that'd ever happen. And you won't be hearing it again anytime soon!"

Buffy smiled slightly. "Very impressive. You have passed the test," said a voice from the entrance. It was Quentin Travers. "Now I have come to collect what the council needs. The Spell Spike. It's time to get things back to normal…."

TBC


	16. chapter 16

**__**

Chapter Sixteen

They all turned to look at Quentin Travers. He had a few assistants with him from the council, but none that looked familiar. "What do you mean, back to normal?" asked Buffy.

Quentin stepped forwards. "The whole point of the spell, Miss Summers. To erase what has recently happened, so that only key events are remembered. The world will remember nothing except what we tell them has happened. That's why it's called the spell of Illusions! You will remember only the key facts about this little adventure Buffy".

Spike stepped forwards. "Key facts?" he asked dangerously, not liking the sound of where this was going. The man before him nodded. "Yes. Such as you defeated a being known as the Queen of the dead. You will remember this week as being a tough week. You won't remember Spike ever gaining a soul. That was the plan".

"It's dangerous to meddle in peoples memories," snapped Giles. Spike looked at the ex watcher in surprise. He was as likely to defend Spike as Xander was. "You have Spike where you've always wanted him. In your control. Are you really willing to turn him back into the soulless beast he once was?"

"You can't do this!" Buffy desperately agreed.

Quentin smiled at her. It was a grave smile though, with a hint of sadness. "I told you both that you would have lessons to learn that would be painful. Well, you seem to have passed the test. You acquired the spell for us, and you worked together to do this. I must admit though, Drusilla was right about one thing. We didn't count on you two".

Xander looked at Buffy to Spike and back to Buffy. "Now, wait a minute. I can accept Spike saving my life - sort of. I can even deal with him having a soul and being a good guy now - actually I can't, but I'll have to deal with it. But you can't be saying that…."

"They like each other," whispered Willow. "They always have done. Or it wasn't like, but attraction…."

"What about Angel?" asked her mother. "You're telling me you went through all that pain for him and you never…" Buffy shook her head. "No. I did love Angel. He was my first love. I don't know how to explain it to you so you'll understand, I'm sorry. I'm trying ok? I always admired Spike I guess. A part of me did respect him. But I hated him for what he was, what he did. But now it's all changed…"

"It's been a few days Buffy. You can't just go changing you're mind about someone in a few days…" said Xander.

Spike cut him off. "back off mate, ok? What would you know about it?"

Buffy turned to look at Quentin. "You can't predict your feelings either. Stuff like this just happens sometimes. So you can't do this alright? You have to give this a chance. Spike could do so much good for you guys…"

Quentin shook his head. "But it wouldn't counter act the damage already done. The world won't accept the way things are. They won't be able to tell who's good or bad - you're barely able to do that job! It will be chaos within days. What you've seen already is only a taster of what's to come. There will be riots. There will be death. The CIA, FBI and the army will all be involved. You're friends will be killed outright for being different. Are you willing to let that happen?"

There was a silence. Buffy looked at Spike hopefully. He was looking at Quentin. "I am sorry, though you might not have guessed it," said Quentin. "We could have had a great ally in you Spike. You could have done a great deal, made a difference to people's lives. You could have had a destiny and made amends. But this is the way it has to be".

Spike turned to Buffy and took her hand. "I can't watch this," muttered Xander, looking away. "Shh…" whispered Willow.

"I'm sorry" he said. "But Quentin's right. This is it Buffy. It was how it was meant to be".

She shook her head vehemently. "No, it can't be. The powers created a miracle here didn't they? They gave Will the power to set us free. They must have done that so that you could save me and live and earn your redemption. Just like they saved Angel. That had to be the reason. Why would they take that away from us?"

"We don't know if it was any higher powers love," said Spike. "It could have been a fluke. But I need to say a few things before whatever happens goes down. I regret what I was. I'm glad I finally had a chance to prove that to you, I'm glad you believed me. And no matter what happens from here on out, you have to believe that I do care about you. In this moment. I don't know if it's love. It's to new for that yet…"

"I wish we could find out," she murmured, tears in her eyes. "I don't want this to happen. Not when I've only just realised…" he silenced her with a kiss. It took her completely by surprise and she was aware of the others around her. But then suddenly nothing mattered. This was what she had needed. What she had been wanting. She wrapped her arms around him as the kiss deepened, and it seemed to last forever. Everything else had faded. "I don't know what's going to happen," he told her. "But this isn't goodbye Buffy. I figure we'll always be in each other's lives for good or bad. It's just not our time yet that's all. But it will be eventually. We may have to go through a lot to get there….but this is where we'll end up."

"Together," she whispered. "I hope so".

He undid the Talisman and handed it to her as secretly as possible. "To remember me," he whispered. He then turned back to the watchers council. "I'm ready. Let's get this bloody show over with". Quentin turned to walk back out of the entrance to the cavern. "I think its best we go somewhere private. It'll be easier for all concerned".

"Spike," called Buffy as he reached the entrance. He turned to look at her but she could find nothing else to say. Spike smiled sadly and turned away.

………………………………...........................................................................................................................

Spike struggled to sit up, and found he was still on the beach in Spain, staring at the stars. He knew he had been out for sometime - but he didn't remember anything that had happened. Something floated to his memory then, images, as if he remembered it from a dream. There was the feel of warm touch on his skin. There was a feeling that he'd belonged somewhere, that he had once again had a place in the world. A good place. He remembered being briefly respected, depended upon - although he had no Idea who by. He also knew with certainty that it was a mistake being on this beach, that there was someone he should be with. Then there was the strong memory of a kiss….but that became hazy and it hurt to think of it. So he forgot about it. Dru…he thought. I've been thinking about her again. Bloody hell, why'd he have to choose Spain? He hated Spain. Dru had always loved it here.

He must have gotten so drunk last night! Because this had to be the worst hangover in the world. That's all it was, why he was so confused. He stood up, showing no signs of being hung over at all and headed back to his hotel. Bugger this crap, he thought. Only moments earlier, he had been so sure it was Dru he'd been thinking of, but he clearly remembered blond hair. There was only one person who stood out to him with blond hair. Buffy Anne Summers. Impossible. There's no way in hell that she could make me feel like that. No way! She was a slayer. Didn't he hate her? But doubt still lingered in his thoughts. Maybe he'd put off going back to Sunnydale just yet. There's plenty of time for that. And when I do make a guest appearance, things are going to change for me and that slayer, I'll see to it. Then I'll prove to the world that I'm still bad. But all good things come to those who wait. With that, he lit another cigarette.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

Buffy sat on the windowsill of her bedroom window, feet resting on the roof tiles. As she looked out at the night, the half crescent moon surrounded by stars, tears fell silently down her cheeks. What was wrong with her? She should be happy! The queen of the dead was no more! The latest threat to Sunnydale had been destroyed and her friends were safe, and had finally forgiven her for being such a bitch lately. Sure, the details were all a little hazy right now, but maybe she'd knocked her head in the fight. It would come back to her.

She was feeling a strong emotion though that she couldn't name. Remorse? Longing? She felt like she was missing something important from her life. It wasn't Angel, she knew that for certain. Not anymore. It seemed only yesterday that she had been. He'd been the main reason for her pushing away her friends in the first place. But she knew now that it wasn't meant to be for them to be together. But she felt like she knew she should be with someone. She had changed in the last week - but who had changed her? Not her friends, not the enemy she had fought.

She brushed away the tears. Although she was sad, a part of her knew that it was going to be alright. It might take time for her to realise whatever it was she had lost was important. It might take time to remember. But she was the slayer. She would.

"But I've only just begun to realise…"

"This isn't goodbye Buffy. This is where we'll end up…"

"Together..."

The words floated to her on the breeze and Buffy frowned in concentration. It was like something from a dream, faint. Full of confusion. It didn't sound like her and the other voice was familiar. She knew it had happened, but when…she couldn't remember.

Suddenly she reached into her pocket and pulled out a Talisman. It was beautiful and made of gold. She stared at it for a long time and then she smiled. It was all going to work out fine. She was going to be fine.

****

The End

So lately, been wondering, who will be there to take my place

When I'm gone, you'll need love, to light the shadows on your face

If the great wave shall fall, it'd fall upon us all

And between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would, I'll go wherever you will go

Way up high, or down low, I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out, the way to make it back someday

To watch you, and guide you, through the darkest of your days

And if the great wave shall fall, it'd fall upon us all

And between the sand and stone, would you make it on your own

Runaway with my heart, runaway with my hope, runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how, my life my love might still go on

In your heart and your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time

The Calling

Wherever you will go

And that's it. I know you guys where hoping they'd end up together, but at least we know they do on the show - sort of! And that's what this fic was getting at. Expect happier Buffy/Spike stories from me now i've seen the last episode of Angel. Really pissed of about how they left it - although it was good in an annoying way! Thanks for taking the time to read.


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